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 DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED

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PostSubject: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Tue May 26, 2009 1:02 pm

do not enter this thread if you are easily offended, pics, vids jokes, anything that might be deemed inappropriate at church goes in here
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Tue May 26, 2009 6:05 pm

what's the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a trugk full of dead babies?

i can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Tue May 26, 2009 7:20 pm

Haha I love baby jokes.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around the room in circles?

Nail its other hand to the ground.
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Wed May 27, 2009 11:16 am

like the title says so beware lol

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.

What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.



A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it. I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.

His friend replies, "That's great: did you get a blow job?"

Oh, no: I never found her head.
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Wed May 27, 2009 1:26 pm

Nice
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Wed May 27, 2009 2:02 pm

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says: "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Wed May 27, 2009 2:04 pm

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Wed May 27, 2009 2:08 pm

There was a cruise ship that ended up sinking just off the coast of a small deserted island.There where only 3 survivors: 2 guys and a girl. They lived there for a couple of years doing what was natural for men and women.

After several years of casual sex all the time, the girl felt really bad about what she had been doing. She felt having sex with both guys was so bad that she killed herself.

It was very tragic but the two guys managed to get through it and after a while nature once more took it's inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and the guys began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing. So...

They buried her.

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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Wed May 27, 2009 10:25 pm

I love these.

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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Fri May 29, 2009 5:05 am

me too
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Fri May 29, 2009 6:25 am

heres some blonde jokes for you!


> Q. Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
> A. It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.
>
> Q. What did the blondeŠŐ» left leg say to her right leg?
> A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
>
> Q. How does a blonde part their hair?
> A. By doing the splits.
>
> Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
> A. Nothing, they haven't met!
>
> Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
> A. Because that's where your supposed to wash vegetables.
>
> Q. What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
> A. Humpme Dumpme
>
> Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
> A. More leg-room!
>
> Q. Why don't blondes use vibrators?
> A. They chip their teeth.
>
> Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
> A. Fertilized
>
> Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?
> A. More headroom
>
> Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
> A. Because everyone gets a turn.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
> A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
>
> Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
> A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!
>
> Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
> A. Frosted Flakes
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Fri Jun 19, 2009 10:14 am

A truck driver comes home after a week on the road.
that night he puts the screws to his old lady, making all kinds of racket.
his son enters the room and says "what are you doing to my mom?"
the truck driver laughs and says "that's just something mommies and daddies do when thier in love." and puts his son back to bed.

the next week the driver comes home again and fucks his wife again.
when he's done he hears a noise comming from his moms room and goes to investigate.
he opens the door to find his son drilling his grandma, the truck driver yells "what the hell are you doing?"
the boy looks at his dad and says, "not so funny when someones fucking your mom is it?"
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:58 pm

lol wraith nice 1
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Sun Jun 21, 2009 1:47 am

An aryian father was working in his wood shop.
his little son comes in and asks him what he's doing
the father says to the boy, "I'm making christmas ornimates."
the boy picked up one of the ornimates, it was a star with a place to put a picture on it.
he asked his dad, "what picture are you doing to put on the star?"
the father answered, "Condaleeza Rice."
the boy thought for a second...."I though you hated niggers?"
the father answered, "I do."
the boy replied, "so why make a christmas ornimate with Condaleeza Rice on it?"
the father answered, "so everybody can hang that bitch from a tree."

(note, I'm not racist but I found this funny for some reason)
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:47 am

lol nice funny ones in here kept up the good work

also why are there only 2 pallbearers at a black person funeral

.. cause there are only 2 handles on a trash can
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Thu Jul 16, 2009 6:30 pm

im not racist too, but some of these are funny man,

How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.

How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
Cut the rope.

What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
Good start.

There were three men going on a coach journey. 1 was white, 1 was black and the other was a Paki durin' da journey the black was eatin' some food from his country. Half way through eatin', he chucked it out da window.
The white man looked at him and asked "Why you chuckin it out?"
The black man replied "I've got plenty in my country."
The Paki man was then eatin' a chapati from his country. Halfway through eatin' he chucked it out of da window.
The white man asked " Why u chuckin' that away?"
The Paki man replied "I've got plenty in my country"
The white man chucked the Paki man out of the window.
The black man asked "Why you chuckin' him out?"
The white man replied "I've got plenty in my country!!"
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:00 pm

what the fuck

ouch
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:04 pm

whats funny about this one is her face, like she is having real sex, sad bitch lol


lol
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PostSubject: Re: DO NOT ENTER IF EASILY OFFENDED   Tue Jul 21, 2009 2:04 pm

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