[GB] The British Empire

Forum for the AstroEmpires guild [GB] The British Empire
 
HomeRegisterLog in
If you can't login, your account may not be activated yet. PM xantonin or The Crow in-game for help.
Search
 
 

Display results as :
 
Rechercher Advanced Search
Latest topics
» Poems
Wed Dec 24, 2014 8:18 am by Shry

» Short Story -- The Blood Fever
Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:21 am by The crow

» IGNGs guide to everything
Tue Oct 05, 2010 8:24 pm by I'm Good Not God

» free porn sites
Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:33 pm by I'm Good Not God

» you all have stinky feet ,,,,,,, and i,m back you lazy bunch of priks. how was your summer?
Sat Sep 25, 2010 2:59 pm by The crow

» Four Word Story
Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:30 pm by Angelous Mortiis

» your accounts...
Sat Jul 24, 2010 11:00 pm by CHERUB

» Axis & Allies
Wed Jul 14, 2010 5:36 am by Angelous Mortiis

» movie download sites,watch movies online etc...
Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:32 am by grim

Top posters
CHERUB
 
The Commonwealth
 
The crow
 
Shry
 
wraithcat
 
Angelous Mortiis
 
xantonin
 
Stolenbabystealerz
 
cdn35
 
GundamMerc
 
Navigation
 Portal
 Index
 Memberlist
 Profile
 FAQ
 Search
Forum
Translator

Social bookmarking
Social bookmarking Digg  Social bookmarking Delicious  Social bookmarking Reddit  Social bookmarking Stumbleupon  Social bookmarking Slashdot  Social bookmarking Yahoo  Social bookmarking Google  Social bookmarking Blinklist  Social bookmarking Blogmarks  Social bookmarking Technorati  

Bookmark and share the address of [GB] The British Empire on your social bookmarking website

Bookmark and share the address of [GB] The British Empire on your social bookmarking website
Flag Counter

Share | 
 

 The cult of SPAM

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
GundamMerc
Lance Corporal
Lance Corporal


Posts : 18
Join date : 2009-07-12

PostSubject: The cult of SPAM   Sun Dec 13, 2009 6:01 pm

In the year M12.009, three brave explorers whose names are forever remembered as metallifan, GundamMerc, and r3n3g8boy stole a spaceship on the planet of Earth. With a supply consisting of large amounts of booze, "legal" marijuana, and food for the inevitable munchies, they set off into the unknown, eventually arriving on the planet of Swine, in the system of Ham. There, after hours of boredom and running out of marijuana, they began to grow crazy from withdrawal systems, and started worshiping a pig that had found their beer stash. After the pig died one day of alcohol poisoning, they buried it and created a golden statue over the grave. Eventually this became known as the greater god SPAM. GundamMerc then had a vision,whether from an actual diety or from dehydration we will never know , in which a lesser god named Pork told him of a place that had plentiful water, if they would turn their backs on the god SPAM. GundamMerc, moved by what he believed to be divine will, tried to convince the others to follow him on his pilgrimage. r3n3g8boy agreed to come along but metallifan refused, seeing it as heresy. After this point, both began their journals, later to be called the Book of SPAM and the Book of Pork. metallifan, after an undetermined amount of time and page 450 of his journal, died of massive withdrawal from both marijuana and booze.

Meanwhile, GundamMerc and his companion eventually found said body of water in Chapter 10, page 345. Unfortunately, this body of water turned out to be salt water, and both shortly died from dehydration.

About 2 years passed before another group of settlers came to settle the planet Swine. They first found the Book of SPAM, and worship quickly spread throughout the populace. About 2 weeks later, an exploration party found the Book of Pork clutched in GundamMerc's hands. This quickly gained a following among the heretics of the new religion. These two cults formed two nations, the Republic of SPAM and the Sultanate of Pork. These nations were constantly at war, fighting each other for many thousand's of years.

Then something amazing happened. One of the sacrificial swine being prepared was accidentally cut to shreds when someone forgot to turn off the chainfist used to kill the pig. One of the strips that flew off landed on a pan over a fire that was being used to cook SPAM. This piece grew nice and crispy. When the person cooking the SPAM tried this piece, they cried "How can we fight when something so beautiful exists for us all to share!!" This persons name, incidentally, was Friar Bacon. Thus they called this delicacy bacon. The truce of bacon was signed in M34.039. After this the two nations gradually became one, and focused on exploiting the system of Hflam for their own benefit. Using the power of their flaming pigs to incite fear in their enemies, they gradually expanded to the neighboring systems of Sow and Boar. After contact was made with the Imperium, war ensued, ending in the defeat of Imperial forces via setting fire to their camps with the flaming pigs mentioned before and boarding their vessels and unleashing hundreds or thousands of pigs on ships, causing rampant confusion in which they used their soldiers armed with guns that shot bullets made of pig bone to take over the Imperial vessels. The Imperium has decided that it has bigger worries than a bunch of fanatics that worship the Pantheon of Swine, such as Chaos or Orks, and pulled out of the sector.
Back to top Go down
Shry
Sergeant
Sergeant


Posts : 111
Join date : 2009-05-27
Age : 24
Location : Tara, Queensland AUSTRALIA

PostSubject: Re: The cult of SPAM   Sun Jan 03, 2010 10:19 am

lolzzz
Back to top Go down
http://www.the-shifty-lion.deviantart.com
CHERUB
Lieutenant
Lieutenant


Posts : 486
Join date : 2010-05-18
Age : 207
Location : In the middle of everywhere

PostSubject: Re: The cult of SPAM   Mon Jun 28, 2010 4:37 pm

thats a complete win Very Happy
Back to top Go down
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4689717947890475769#
The crow
Admin
Admin


Posts : 223
Join date : 2009-05-26

PostSubject: Re: The cult of SPAM   Fri Jul 02, 2010 10:33 am

old thread this is now locked

_________________


Back to top Go down
http://britishempire.forumotion.net
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: The cult of SPAM   

Back to top Go down
 
The cult of SPAM
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» 2k Wych Cult List
» Eldar Cult of Slaanesh, Kaelis Ra "Destroyers of Light"
» The Cult of the Serpent
» SOLD FS: Malifaux-Cult of December W:$$$
» 1850 Starter Wych Cult Army

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
[GB] The British Empire :: General Category :: Spamm-
Jump to: